


Changed conversations

by Kaci



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Just dialogue, Self-Indulgent, Theology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 13:07:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19426603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaci/pseuds/Kaci
Summary: I'm a liberal Christian (Episcopalian), and Good Omens was deeply spiritually meaningful for me, but I also wanted to see my own understanding of good and evil reflected in it, so I played around with some of Aziraphale's responses to Crowley to have him say things that I think are true.  (I had to change the order of a couple conversations in order to make it flow the way I wanted). This is really just me writing the story I need, but I also understand that for people who have been hurt by the church, having Aziraphale push back against the whole system is a really healing story, and I don't want to erase that; I hope our stories can coexist. Also, I mostly edit technical reports, so my fiction writing is pretty bare bones; if anyone wants to take this and flesh it out, go for it!





	Changed conversations

"Out of interest, how many first class composers do your lot have in heaven? 'Cause Mozart's one of ours, Beethoven, Schubert, all the Bachs.."  
“Oh really, Crowley,” Aziraphale chided, “don’t tell me you’ve started believing your own propaganda.”  
“Propaganda? What’re you talking about?”  
“Have you actually seen Bach or any of the others down there?”  
“Nah, I work topside, don’t deal with the damned souls.” Crowley shrugged as he stretched out across the bench.  
“Well, I have it on good authority that all those composers are in our care,” Aziriphale said smugly.  
“So you’ve seen ‘em?” Crowley pressed.  
“No, but I understand Bach and Holst are collaborating on a new work; it’s going to be glorious![1]” Aziriphale’s eyes lit up in that charming way he had, and Crowley almost forgot the point he was trying to make.  
“You haven’t seen ‘em and I haven’t seen ‘em, so how do I know it’s any more likely that your lot has ‘em than my lot?”  
“Of the two of us, you’re the one who works for the Father of Lies”  
“Hmm…yeah, good point.”

***

“They're not very big on wine in heaven, are they though? Or single-malt scotch, or little, little frou-frou cocktails with umbrellas?”  
“Where do you get these ideas? Do you really think Her son would’ve made all that extra wedding wine if She objected?[2]”  
“But look at all my lot’s done with it:” Crowley ticked off the points on his fingers, “car crashes; wife beating; people sitting alone with a bottle, rotting away their livers; rationalization for every kind of sin…”  
“Obviously, we don’t hold with all that,” Aziraphale said stiffly. “Anything can be used wrongly, as you would surely know. The Almighty gave wine to make glad the heart of man[3], and woman, and enby”  
“Oh-hoh, enby is it? Getting fancy now, are we?”  
Aziraphale got that pedantic expression he always wore when Crowley wound him up, “It stands for non-binary. It’s a term to describe people who don’t fall into the man-woman gender binary.”  
“I know what it is; I’m surprised you do!”  
“I do read, Crowley.”  
“Yeah, what happened to ‘male and female[4] created She them’?”  
“I should have known you’d try to quote Scripture for your own purposes. But since you ask, God did create them male and female, the first ones; you were there, same as I was. But since then, some have been created to reflect the image of the Almighty in a different way. Pity so many of the humans don’t understand it.”  
“Well we’ve subverted it, just like we did with the wine. I mean, look what we’ve done with Pride!” Crowley laughed.  
“Whatever are you talking about?”  
“Pride, big gay parade, named after a deadly sin,” Crowley gestured wildy. “I’ve had my hand in it since the beginning”  
“Was that part of the Arrangement?”  
“Wha? No, this was all on my own. You would not believe how glitter can get all over a flat!”  
Aziraphale’s eyes sparkled. “Well I appreciate the help and I hope you don’t get in too much trouble with your head office”  
“Wait, angel, do you mean to say…?”  
“Of course, Crowley, Pride is one of ours; I can’t believe you didn’t realize!”  
Crowley shrugged. “So many churches were getting so steamed up about it, I just figured it was one of ours.”  
“Hell has no interest helping people find safety and acceptance, and churches aren’t reliable guides to the will of the Almighty. Honestly, dear, you really do need to pay attention to what’s going on around you.”  
“Says the angel who needed a demon to rescue him from Nazis in a church.”  
Aziraphale’s expression softened. “I haven’t forgotten that. What you did for me…”  
“’Sall right.”

***

“And you know what's worse, when it's all over, you've got to deal with E-TER-NI-TYYYYY!” a drunken Crowley shouted. “Yeah, won't be so bad at first, although no Stephen Sondheim, I'm afraid,” he said, brandishing a program.  
“Ohhh, She loves that one!”  
“Huh?”  
“Into the Woods. Good for mortals, makes them think. Unininin…unplanned conseke, consi…things you didn’t think about. How it’s all connected. Nice is different than good.[5]”  
“I s’pose that makes sense. It’s grand when I can tempt the humans to be cowardly by telling them to be nice. Sometimes they think I’m you!” Crowley started to laugh but stopped short at Aziraphale’s wounded expression.

***

“Tha - that's my point, whole sea bubblin', the dolphins, the whales, all turn into boulbybou...bouey, bouevey...fish stew”  
“All creatures great and small,” Azirphale sighed. “Still, it never was planned to be permanent. The eventual expansion of the sun, if nothing else. The heat-death of the universe…”  
Crowley’s eyes flashed with real anger. “That’s your answer to boiling the world? It was bound to happen eventually? I can’t deal with this drunk; I’m going to sober up.”  
“Me too.” Both the angel and the demon shoved the alcohol out of their systems. “I don’t like it any more than you do,” Aziraphale continued, “but if it’s part of the Plan...”  
“Sodding Plan! What kind of a Plan is it for a so-called loving God to kill a third of the people?[6]”  
Aziraphale threw himself out of his chair and came nose-to-nose with the demon. “Your lot has been eager enough to help them along. If it wasn’t this, it would probably be climate change. Wars, extinctions, plagues, all for the sake of profit. This might be a mercy.”  
“I never wanted that! What was I supposed to do after I Fell? And what difference does it make anyway? Your boss will still let a three-year-old die of cancer. That’s no kind of love.”  
“She doesn’t like it. None of us like it, but that’s the price of a free creation. We heal and comfort and strengthen where we can, and we share in their pain, and when they finally do die, we sing them home.”  
“No one’s going to sing me home,” Crowley grumbled.  
“Is that what you want?” Aziraphale stared at Crowley intently, forgetting to breathe.  
Crowley saw the love in his angel’s eyes. He thought back on the terrible pain and confusion of his Fall and reflected on the hollow ache that still persisted all these thousands of years later. “Mayb…yes?”  
Aziraphale took his demon in his arms and held him close until both their tears stopped. “You had only to ask. All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well[7]. Now let’s figure out how we’re going to save the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> 1 - John Polkinghorne and N.T. Wright have both mentioned the possibility of great composers making additional music together in the new creation.  
> 2 - John 2:1-11  
> 3 - Psalm 104:15  
> 4 - Genesis 1:27  
> 5 - Revelation 9:18  
> 6 - "I Know Things Now" from Into the Woods  
> 7 - Julian of Norwich


End file.
